surrealisting.

... I should look into that. But first convert to Judaism. Obv.

So when I have no AP tests or college essays to write or... anything to do, really... I take internet quizzes.

And this one thinks I should be an (actual things i would do in blue):
Activist, Architect, Artist, Actor, Counselor, Church Worker, Employee Development Specialist, Educational Consultant, Editor, Filmmaker, Fashion Designer, Graphic/Web Designer, Holistic Health Practitioner, Human Resources, Journalist, Librarian, Legal Mediator, Massage Therapist, Missionary, Musician, Minister, Psychologist/Counselor, Photographer, Physical Therapist, Researcher, Social Scientist, Speech Pathologist, Social Worker, Translator/Interpreter, Teacher/Professor, Video Editor,Writer

Again with the "holistic health practitioner". Er... now that I blue'd the list... It's actually kind of accurate. I'd still call boolshiet with this test, except it got certain aspects of my personality right, too.

...And the things that made me LOL:
"acts without planning...prone to lateness...frequently losing things, prone to sadness, ...easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private... familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, likes the rain, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic"

So apparantly I'm a cross between Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort, Sauron, an emo, and a touchy-feely hippie that can't handle a "real job/career" :'D

That list of "traits"... way to make me want to go jump off something high LOL

And I think it's true.




SOMEBODY GET ME SOME VISENE. ALL THE MARIJUANA I FOUGHT TO LEGALIZE IS MAKING ME BLOODSHOT. ACT FAST I AM A TORTUERD EMO/WRITER.


I also ^^ "hate nature". Apparently.

As a second semester senior, I've compiled a list of things I wish I knew as a freshman.

Remember, a college is only good if it's a tier one school with less than a 20% acceptance rate. Any other school, especially a state school, is useless... unless you want to be a janitor. A good way to gauge school quality is to see how many people are impressed with the name.

So, here's what you do to separate yourself from all the inferior people beneath you.


1. Make your academics so strong they can kill kittens with their bare teeth. You must have a 5.0 gpa, or a 150 average. Scientific studies reveal the striking figure that only 1 in 20 students are in the top 5% of their class. So, sabotage at least 19 other students that threaten your class rank. Take as many APs as possible, even if you hate the subject. If you must, take uppers, ritalin, and xanax in order to keep your energy, concentrate, and ward off the suicidal thoughts that will inevitably come as you devote your every waking moment to your studies.

2. Pick a passion that looks good on paper. Every aspiring college student needs to enjoy three things in their spare time: art/music, science research (or some other academic pursuit), and sports. Since you don't need any brains to be an artist, do music. Choose the most obscure instrument you can think of and stick with it until you can play like a professional. Piano and violin are useless if you are not a prodigy, so master the theremin or oboe.

If you do science research, it must be at the graduate student level. Avoid social science research or ecology experiments as they do not win INTEL. If you don't make the national finals for either INTEL or Siemens-Westinghouse, you have been wasting time with research and have no future in science.

If you do sports, you must be the captain of the team and be nationally ranked. Otherwise you're just weak.

Your passions are useless unless you win competitions with them.

3. Drop your friends. Friends don't help you get into college. They take up the time you need to practice the oboe or pipette orphan kitten snot samples at the lab.

4. Score perfectly on standardized tests. That means a 2400 on the SATs, 36 on the ACTs, 800 on all SAT subject tests, and 5 on all your APs. To achieve this, you need to take prep classes. Always go for the most expensive and exclusive classes. A good way to gauge the quality is to see how many Asians are in the program. Their parents know what's best and pressure them intensely.

To be able to afford this program, I suggest going on a hunger strike until your parents shell out the $5,000 tuition fee, or having a weekend job as a stripper.

If you are uncomfortable with that, you are not ivy material and will never succeed in life. You need to learn how to make sacrifices.

5. Be a leader. If you have no leadership positions, you are screwed. You must found/be the president of at least 2 clubs. Outside of school, found a charity relief fund and organize fundraiser events. Bonus points if you can spend your summers buiding orphanages in Africa. This is, of course, while you conduct scientific research, practice the Oboe, and self-study for APs.


6. [Recommended] Don't be Asian or White. I realize that this one may be difficult for some of you readers, so I have made it optional. Also, it helps to have legacy, especially if your family members have donated a wing, thigh, and breast to the institution of your choice.

7. Remember that these seven tips are composed of 5% truth and 95% BS.

But I think a majority of driven students have this mindset at one point during high school. I did [to a less extreme degree] when I was an underclassman.

Seriously, this is how you burn out. Yeah, to a certain extent you need the numbers and the ECs, but from my experience, most of the people I know who get into their first choice colleges do what they love and are successful as a result. Find something you're talented or interested in and stick with it with uncommon dedication and hard work.
Finally, a college's "good"-ness isn't determined by flawed rankings or prestige. The best college is your best fit, with strong academics that fit your interests. And who cares what other people think? The vast majority of Americans know squat about higher education.

TL;DR:  This student may have a decent chance. (Collegeconfidential.com)
  
In her own words: 

 I am PASSIONATE about many things. In fact, PASSION oozes out of every pore and drips to the ground wherever I walk, sprouting little patches of PASSION behind me

WARNING://bitchfest alert. Those with low tolerance to pathetic whining are encouraged to skip post.

As of Thursday, April 1st, I had all my college results. They had me clinging on to that vague hope that my results were all just an April Fool's joke. In fact... I still check my email obsessively, waiting for the message that will tell me that LOL they were only kidding. As everyone suffocated with joy over the fact that OMG they just TOTALLY got into their dream school, I was like D: -happy for you but ohso jealous- I'm angry and BITTER and DEEPSIGH. Ok.

Accepted:
St. Johns (Honors Program, Full Ride)
Fordham (Deans Scholarship, 30k/year)
Stony Brook (WISE prgrm, Presidential Scholarship)
Binghamton
Hunter College
NYU A&S

Waitlisted:
Barnard
Sophie Davis (this awesome 7 year medical program)
Macaulay Honors @ Hunter College (this amazing program from CUNY...)

Denied:
Cornell University
Johns Hopkins University

My top three choices were Cornell, CUNY honors, and Binghamton. 1.5/3 I guess. Well, Cornell was no surprise (but that won't stop me from trying to score a transfer), but CUNY honors kind of stung. I really wanted to go because that would have meant free college, a laptop, and all these opportunities for study abroad and internships. It's the perfect program for grad/med school bound students.

Right now, I have no idea where I want to go. I hate making major decisions. I've been weighing the pros and cons of each. I don't know who to talk to about this... I know my parents have good intentions, but I feel like I need a second opinion. The other day they insisted that all colleges are equal in academic quality. ?!?!?!




I mean, St. John's would mean free college and graduating with no debt. Then again, what's its academic quality like? Is it strong in the sciences? Are there any research opportunities? And of course... it's way too close to home. Queens. Do not want.








Stony Brook is appealing because it has everything for the pre-med student.
It's basically the SUNY "best" for premed and biology, with its science and math classes on par with top schools. It has a hospital, a lot of research opportunities (esp with brookhaven national lab so close by), and other volunteer opportunities. Cons? Only 38% of its class came were in the top 10% of high school. It's not really a selective school. Also, it has mixed reviews, with more negative than positive. Besides, the most appealing thing about it is its strength as a pre-med school. But am I so sure that I want to be a doctor?





Binghamton was my original dream school. A lot of people I know are probably going there. Along with Geneseo, it's one of the most selective and prestigious SUNYs. Out of all the schools I was accepted to, it's the closest I can get to the "traditional college experience". Cons? No merit scholarships for freshmen, and I don't know if I can get internships/volunteer opportunities as a pre-med. Also, I want to be decently close to NYC, and Bing is in the middle of nowhere.








I'm considering Fordham (Rose Hill) because they gave me scholarships worth over 4/5s of their original tuition. They seem to be a decent school, I guess. It's also in NYC without being too close.



NYU I'm not even considering because in order to attend, I would need to take out 33k in loans... per year. I refuse to start my adult life with that much debt. Otherwise, it's a dream school... maybe I'll be there in 4 years.



Well... I'm going to stop talking about colleges now before this turns into a bitchfest and I end up breaking out the vodka ice cream and deep fried oreos, drunk dialing all the colleges that rejected/waitlisted me and hysterically sobbing as I demand why they didn't find me good enough. Then they'll emphatically say, "it's us not you...", referring to "record high applicants" and "not enough seats" and "you're good, we swear"... But unlike the uninterested ex on the receiving end of unrequited love, all this is to keep from getting sued.

...Just kidding. Sorta.

Plus, I don't wanna graduate. High school was awesome and close to perfect.

And, well. When I apply to med school/grad school in four years... I am going to do so much better. Swear to god, man... everytime I'm tempted to take a short "break" from work via AIM, facebook, deviantart, male prostitute etc. I am going to look back to how my astonishing mediocrity prevented me from getting into my choice schools, and how much rejection SUCKS, and I'm'a be like -deep scary voice- never again.