surrealisting.

So today, I may have gotten my first job at a Japanese cafe around Bryant park. It went like this:

Manager: Are you a college student?
Surrealisting: Uhh. Yes. This coming fall I'm starting.
Manager: OH THAT'S GREAT! YOU'LL HAVE A FLEXIBLE SCHEDULE!
Surrealisting: But I don't yet know my sched-
Manager: It's perfect! -calls other manager over-
Two managers start talking in Japanese. The English word "college" can be heard several times.


I have a friend who's been working there for months. According to her, people have been quitting lately. So, I went with her to work today.

stupid copyright laws/scene from the exorcist.

It's cheeky.

Hugh Laurie and Steven Fry



His address is spelled 22 p-h-a-l-l-i-c-s-y-m-b-o-l king's lane.

Monty Python - Silly Job Interview




Monty Python - Mattress Skit



Monty Python - Masochistic Monks



(it translates to Lord Jesus: Give them a break)

A Bit of Fry and Laurie - America Song

... I should look into that. But first convert to Judaism. Obv.

So when I have no AP tests or college essays to write or... anything to do, really... I take internet quizzes.

And this one thinks I should be an (actual things i would do in blue):
Activist, Architect, Artist, Actor, Counselor, Church Worker, Employee Development Specialist, Educational Consultant, Editor, Filmmaker, Fashion Designer, Graphic/Web Designer, Holistic Health Practitioner, Human Resources, Journalist, Librarian, Legal Mediator, Massage Therapist, Missionary, Musician, Minister, Psychologist/Counselor, Photographer, Physical Therapist, Researcher, Social Scientist, Speech Pathologist, Social Worker, Translator/Interpreter, Teacher/Professor, Video Editor,Writer

Again with the "holistic health practitioner". Er... now that I blue'd the list... It's actually kind of accurate. I'd still call boolshiet with this test, except it got certain aspects of my personality right, too.

...And the things that made me LOL:
"acts without planning...prone to lateness...frequently losing things, prone to sadness, ...easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private... familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, likes the rain, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic"

So apparantly I'm a cross between Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort, Sauron, an emo, and a touchy-feely hippie that can't handle a "real job/career" :'D

That list of "traits"... way to make me want to go jump off something high LOL

And I think it's true.




SOMEBODY GET ME SOME VISENE. ALL THE MARIJUANA I FOUGHT TO LEGALIZE IS MAKING ME BLOODSHOT. ACT FAST I AM A TORTUERD EMO/WRITER.


I also ^^ "hate nature". Apparently.

Like a bellowing Asian Neal Patrick Harris in a pink sweater....

Beau Sia - Love

All I Have Ever Done is Write You Love Poems by Ishle Yi Park.

Lately I've been watching slam poets on YouTube. This is one of my favorites. It's a bit old (2002). I've copied and pasted the transcription from some other bloggers who I don't know.

I JUST mailed my deposit to Fordham University. Why? 30k/year scholarship, a value just slightly under the full ride I received from St. John's, 10 times the amount from Stony Brook, and 15 times the amount from NYU.

And I like the school, even though it was my safety.

Ahh! I'm officially enrolled in college... SO. EXCITED...! I'm commuting this year, but hopefully I'll get to dorm... they actually have dorms just for pre-med students. Whoa.

I only have to get my AP exams and graduation out of the way. 6 weeks. 6 weeks!

So: Pick a safety you like. Safeties tend to give good merit aid.

...studying for my ap calc test. Which is tomorrow. Which is on the topic that no one understands. Which I tried to study for during the awards ceremony for nycsef (science fair). Until I realized how much of a tool I seemed.

The AP gov test is in 2 weeks.


-- Please ignore any typos as this was posted from my Ipod Touch

When I was ten, I discovered the depraved world of the Useless Internet with ebaumsworld.com To my ten-year old mind, ebaumsworld had the most important things on the internet - everything I ever used the internet for: optical illusions, jokes that would give my parents heart attacks, and... games.

On the internet, there's literally millions of flash games out there, not only found on ebaumsworld, but also on sites just for pointless games - addictinggames.com, newgrounds...

So, I thought I'd start off my ListBOOM series by featuring one of the main reasons why people use the internet.

So while you're taking up a computer in the campus library (ahem. there are people who have to do real work), wasting your time in the office, or killing hours in the privacy of your own home, here are the 20 best ways to go about your merry way:

Two arcade games: 

Simple: click anywhere to create a circle and start a chain reaction as other circles collide into it. Try to get as many bubbles as possible.

With soothing background music by Tim Halbert, this is the kind of mind-numbing game you can play while you try to forget about the fact that it's 2am and you have to start a major project due the next day. It gives you that odd sort of satisfaction akin to popping bubblewrap and digging holes.

This game also politely tells you when you lose that "You failed to reach your goal." I'll try to maximize my productive output, then, in order to accomplish my objective.

Bonus: Submit your score. Currently, my highest is #160 from 161! Yeah!

Two classic games

Spring, my favorite season, has rendered me incapable of concentrating on anything due to allergies. I look like I've been sobbing and smoking weed for the past hour. (Both of which can be therapeutic activities... +1 for SBU! jk)

I have 15 days to make a decision for the next four years of my life. Lovely.


(Fordham vs. Stony Brook vs. St. John's?)
     15k    vs.       15k        vs.   free + free laptop
rank: 61  vs.        96          vs.     200something.




I could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now... Macaulay Hunter don't break my heart!

me: usually it takes me longer to start my work than it does to actually do it.
ap calc teacher: I can tell.
ap calc teacher: I'm the same way, though.

My mom texted my best friend, telling her to convince me to go to prom.

As a second semester senior, I've compiled a list of things I wish I knew as a freshman.

Remember, a college is only good if it's a tier one school with less than a 20% acceptance rate. Any other school, especially a state school, is useless... unless you want to be a janitor. A good way to gauge school quality is to see how many people are impressed with the name.

So, here's what you do to separate yourself from all the inferior people beneath you.


1. Make your academics so strong they can kill kittens with their bare teeth. You must have a 5.0 gpa, or a 150 average. Scientific studies reveal the striking figure that only 1 in 20 students are in the top 5% of their class. So, sabotage at least 19 other students that threaten your class rank. Take as many APs as possible, even if you hate the subject. If you must, take uppers, ritalin, and xanax in order to keep your energy, concentrate, and ward off the suicidal thoughts that will inevitably come as you devote your every waking moment to your studies.

2. Pick a passion that looks good on paper. Every aspiring college student needs to enjoy three things in their spare time: art/music, science research (or some other academic pursuit), and sports. Since you don't need any brains to be an artist, do music. Choose the most obscure instrument you can think of and stick with it until you can play like a professional. Piano and violin are useless if you are not a prodigy, so master the theremin or oboe.

If you do science research, it must be at the graduate student level. Avoid social science research or ecology experiments as they do not win INTEL. If you don't make the national finals for either INTEL or Siemens-Westinghouse, you have been wasting time with research and have no future in science.

If you do sports, you must be the captain of the team and be nationally ranked. Otherwise you're just weak.

Your passions are useless unless you win competitions with them.

3. Drop your friends. Friends don't help you get into college. They take up the time you need to practice the oboe or pipette orphan kitten snot samples at the lab.

4. Score perfectly on standardized tests. That means a 2400 on the SATs, 36 on the ACTs, 800 on all SAT subject tests, and 5 on all your APs. To achieve this, you need to take prep classes. Always go for the most expensive and exclusive classes. A good way to gauge the quality is to see how many Asians are in the program. Their parents know what's best and pressure them intensely.

To be able to afford this program, I suggest going on a hunger strike until your parents shell out the $5,000 tuition fee, or having a weekend job as a stripper.

If you are uncomfortable with that, you are not ivy material and will never succeed in life. You need to learn how to make sacrifices.

5. Be a leader. If you have no leadership positions, you are screwed. You must found/be the president of at least 2 clubs. Outside of school, found a charity relief fund and organize fundraiser events. Bonus points if you can spend your summers buiding orphanages in Africa. This is, of course, while you conduct scientific research, practice the Oboe, and self-study for APs.


6. [Recommended] Don't be Asian or White. I realize that this one may be difficult for some of you readers, so I have made it optional. Also, it helps to have legacy, especially if your family members have donated a wing, thigh, and breast to the institution of your choice.

7. Remember that these seven tips are composed of 5% truth and 95% BS.

But I think a majority of driven students have this mindset at one point during high school. I did [to a less extreme degree] when I was an underclassman.

Seriously, this is how you burn out. Yeah, to a certain extent you need the numbers and the ECs, but from my experience, most of the people I know who get into their first choice colleges do what they love and are successful as a result. Find something you're talented or interested in and stick with it with uncommon dedication and hard work.
Finally, a college's "good"-ness isn't determined by flawed rankings or prestige. The best college is your best fit, with strong academics that fit your interests. And who cares what other people think? The vast majority of Americans know squat about higher education.

TL;DR:  This student may have a decent chance. (Collegeconfidential.com)
  
In her own words: 

 I am PASSIONATE about many things. In fact, PASSION oozes out of every pore and drips to the ground wherever I walk, sprouting little patches of PASSION behind me

I got to go home at 12:00 today.

Walked the 2.2 miles from Queens College to Flushing, Main Street station. OK, I lost my student metrocard but I didn't want to call for a pickup ride. It was a gorgeous day so I didn't take the Q44/20 and instead took a nice walk.

I think I'll try walking long distances from now on.

Once I got home, however, I had no idea what to do with myself. It's funny cus yesterday I was obscenely busy. today, I have nothing to do.

The weird gurgling noise my AC made when I turned it on for the first time in months made me quite happy.

-- Please ignore any typos as this was posted from my Ipod Touch

So I just spent a pleasant 1.5 hours sitting in the cafe around the corner reading Candide and The Grand Inquisitor cover to cover, looking for quotes and framing my paper. My copy of Candide has a handful of funky lineart illustrations that, when you look closely, are either really gory or pushing the limits of soft porn. Or are both... "gorn" I guess.

I decided to cut my human evolution class, as the prof. just reads straight out of her powerpoint and I can easily get the notes from someone else. We're right in the middle of a really boring unit about monkeys... sorry, primates. No disrespect. Yawn. Plus, I enjoy reading the textbook waay more than I enjoy sitting in that big ass lecture hall. Textbook has prrrretty pictures. Lecture hall has prof. going way too quickly through her ppt.s, with the sound of annoyingcollegestudents bleeding in through the auditorium doors.

It's 4:07 pm and all I have to do is churn out that paper and study for orgo. Thank god I mistakenly thought the loooong ap calc packet was due today, otherwise I wouldn't have done it and would now be facing a bleaak night. I'm fairly relaxed.

As much as I really enjoyed Candide and GI (masochist me), I wouldn't recommend reading them both in one sitting. Candide was a wacky gorefest and I found the the Grand Inquisitor has disturbingly valid points... I agree with some of them. I'm tired of reading.

Sadly I had to leave what was probably the best seat in that place (and it's really hard to find a seat in there!) because I had to run some errands for my mom. Now I'm printing out some brief story synopses for Candide and GI while picking up my orgo and calc textbooks. I'm going back to the cafe because I cannot not not concentrate at home, not while it's sweltering. I'm banned from turning the AC on... No spot at home is more comfortable than that mad cushy seat in the cafe...

Well, I'm logging off before my computer spazzes out from the heat in this fiberglass infested attic. My goal is to finish my paper AND finish studying for my orgo quiz by 10 tonight. I might actually do it.

God... I am so ready for college.

P.S.

To all the random colleges emailing me with assurances that it's not too late to apply: if it's april of my senior year, do you really think the fact that I can "joke about Tolstoy at 1am" at your hallowed institution will compell me to apply? Stop spamming my inbox.

It's the last day of spring break and I'm cracking down on my homework.

I have a major Humanities paper due on Thursday. The reading material isn't too bad... I actually liked Candide (Voltaire) and Grand Inquisitor (Dostoyevsky). Topic? Compare the critique of religion in Candide vs. Grand Inquisitor. Compare, what crucial distinctions do you find? Believe it or not, this is the easy topic... the other two options? 1) Compare the social vision of GI to the of Marx. 2) Compare the use of paradox in Candide and GI. Jeeeeeeesus.

Last time I got a B+ on my paper about Hamlet and suicide.

Yeah... I have a long two nights ahead of me.

I also an orgo (organic chem) test on Thursday...

On the bright side, I finished my long ass ap calc bc homework. This is better than average for me. God bless free periods. At this point the only classes I can tolerate are Science Research (because we don't do anything anymore) and Human Evolution, or Biological Anthro (because it's easy and interesting... I mean the rest of my interesting classes are just as interesting if not interestinger but they're not not not not easy). That class makes me almost want to major in anthro... Harvard has a Human Evolution major, but I am not Harvard material DEEPSIGH. Four years, goddammit, I WILL get into a good school. Right now I really want to go to Binghamton, but my parents - ok, my MOM - refuse to even GO to the admitted students day. My DAD said that if I really want to go to Binghamton, it would be ok for him. i<3u dad. Unfortunately, my mom calls all the shots. -frustrated-

Even if, through some act of God, I pass the AP test, I'm not taking those 8 credits. Instead, I'm going to retake calc because I really want a tighter grip on the material.... and it's one less premed class I'll have to worry about.

I think I've settled on a satisfactory layout... Black Minimalism. I added my own header and a scrollbar to the body (posts). Elegant.

My shoulders are still sore from when I altar served the holy thursday mass... I was the incense person LOL... walking backwards throughout and around the church while swinging the incense high... I fail :P


I need to stop obsessing... THINKING about college because it's never productive... I'm never closer to a definitive choice but I do get really pissed off and depressed about it.

WARNING://bitchfest alert. Those with low tolerance to pathetic whining are encouraged to skip post.

As of Thursday, April 1st, I had all my college results. They had me clinging on to that vague hope that my results were all just an April Fool's joke. In fact... I still check my email obsessively, waiting for the message that will tell me that LOL they were only kidding. As everyone suffocated with joy over the fact that OMG they just TOTALLY got into their dream school, I was like D: -happy for you but ohso jealous- I'm angry and BITTER and DEEPSIGH. Ok.

Accepted:
St. Johns (Honors Program, Full Ride)
Fordham (Deans Scholarship, 30k/year)
Stony Brook (WISE prgrm, Presidential Scholarship)
Binghamton
Hunter College
NYU A&S

Waitlisted:
Barnard
Sophie Davis (this awesome 7 year medical program)
Macaulay Honors @ Hunter College (this amazing program from CUNY...)

Denied:
Cornell University
Johns Hopkins University

My top three choices were Cornell, CUNY honors, and Binghamton. 1.5/3 I guess. Well, Cornell was no surprise (but that won't stop me from trying to score a transfer), but CUNY honors kind of stung. I really wanted to go because that would have meant free college, a laptop, and all these opportunities for study abroad and internships. It's the perfect program for grad/med school bound students.

Right now, I have no idea where I want to go. I hate making major decisions. I've been weighing the pros and cons of each. I don't know who to talk to about this... I know my parents have good intentions, but I feel like I need a second opinion. The other day they insisted that all colleges are equal in academic quality. ?!?!?!




I mean, St. John's would mean free college and graduating with no debt. Then again, what's its academic quality like? Is it strong in the sciences? Are there any research opportunities? And of course... it's way too close to home. Queens. Do not want.








Stony Brook is appealing because it has everything for the pre-med student.
It's basically the SUNY "best" for premed and biology, with its science and math classes on par with top schools. It has a hospital, a lot of research opportunities (esp with brookhaven national lab so close by), and other volunteer opportunities. Cons? Only 38% of its class came were in the top 10% of high school. It's not really a selective school. Also, it has mixed reviews, with more negative than positive. Besides, the most appealing thing about it is its strength as a pre-med school. But am I so sure that I want to be a doctor?





Binghamton was my original dream school. A lot of people I know are probably going there. Along with Geneseo, it's one of the most selective and prestigious SUNYs. Out of all the schools I was accepted to, it's the closest I can get to the "traditional college experience". Cons? No merit scholarships for freshmen, and I don't know if I can get internships/volunteer opportunities as a pre-med. Also, I want to be decently close to NYC, and Bing is in the middle of nowhere.








I'm considering Fordham (Rose Hill) because they gave me scholarships worth over 4/5s of their original tuition. They seem to be a decent school, I guess. It's also in NYC without being too close.



NYU I'm not even considering because in order to attend, I would need to take out 33k in loans... per year. I refuse to start my adult life with that much debt. Otherwise, it's a dream school... maybe I'll be there in 4 years.



Well... I'm going to stop talking about colleges now before this turns into a bitchfest and I end up breaking out the vodka ice cream and deep fried oreos, drunk dialing all the colleges that rejected/waitlisted me and hysterically sobbing as I demand why they didn't find me good enough. Then they'll emphatically say, "it's us not you...", referring to "record high applicants" and "not enough seats" and "you're good, we swear"... But unlike the uninterested ex on the receiving end of unrequited love, all this is to keep from getting sued.

...Just kidding. Sorta.

Plus, I don't wanna graduate. High school was awesome and close to perfect.

And, well. When I apply to med school/grad school in four years... I am going to do so much better. Swear to god, man... everytime I'm tempted to take a short "break" from work via AIM, facebook, deviantart, male prostitute etc. I am going to look back to how my astonishing mediocrity prevented me from getting into my choice schools, and how much rejection SUCKS, and I'm'a be like -deep scary voice- never again.

You have no idea how long it took for me to find a suitable skin for this thing. Even then... we have problems.

Well, I'm tired and can't really think of anything to write about.

Earlier, I was thinking that perhaps we should genetically engineer kids born in nyc to have underwater breathing abilities... You know, just to prepare for the inevitable apocalypse that will bring gigantic tidal waves that would engulf the city like nomnomnom.

Or I watch too many movies. I do wish that I could breathe underwater. What am I going to do in the event of:

?

Happy Easter, all.